Ah, yes. Originality; an important feature of society. You’re a god if you wear a real Versace/Gucci/Prada shirt, but a clown if your wear a phony. A projection of human nature in their justification of another being. You’re cunty if you wear aididas, right?
That’s what gets me to my next bit. Fake manufacturers. And in particular; designer rip-offs by big brands. Small designers get ripped of constantly by major companies due to social media and the ‘’fast-fashion’’ machine. Which basically scans the gram for designs and copies new ideas to leave the original designer masturbating in the rain (not me though; just 102 followers on the gram, 98 on facebook, 2 on youtube, gotieem, ain’t nobody copying from the unknown).
But I do like to look out for the little guy, with the little guy meaning a brand/designer 50 times my size, goddamn. I realised this is a recurring problem for them and felt the need to protect them and eventually myself against those feisty copycats.
That’s when I thought of something. A way too elaborate code generating algorithm to know if somebody has a real VAN EECKHOUTTE or a fake one (not that anyone copies any of my work because, well, nobody gives a shit.)
Introducing the ECHTHEIDSCERTIFICAAT (certificate of authenticity). Signed by me personally. Name and everything, make that shit personal. Released to the public, for anyone to copy and use (the irony). Branded with my warm-hearted logo in fine block pattern, with rich Gucci like colours associating with wealth, health and understatements.
The ECHTHEIDSCERTIFICAAT’s most important feature is the SERIENUMMER (serial number)(generated code), which can be found on every product by me. Any designer wanting to copy and use the ECHTHEIDSCERTIFICAAT is free to develop and utilise their own generated code proving their own product’s origin.
So remember this. You’re a weak bitch if you own a fake VAN EECKHOUTTE.
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